Dear Colleague:

In the staff room the other day, I overheard you say some words to a fellow teacher of ours, words that sort of shocked me at the time, and as I’ve thought about them in the weeks since, they’ve sliced through me even more. You said as you danced your happy dance: 17 more days and she’s not my problem anymore. You were referring to a student with some major issues and the fact that the end of the school year was nearing.

In the moment you seemed like you couldn’t care less about this student. I think I understand how you have come to feel this way. A hard year with this student took its toll and you weren’t able to keep it to yourself any longer. You let your true feelings escape in a rant at the expense of a kid. I tried very hard not to judge you in that moment because its not my place to do so.

I couldn’t do it. I judged.

This kid you berated behind her back - she’s got a reputation amongst the school community already, and your disrespectful public grievances involving her sure aren’t making it any better. The way I see it, the moment we define a student as a “problem” we give up on both the child as an individual soul and on ourselves as the bearers of multiple solutions. Solutions emerge, if we persist.

You don’t need to shoulder the responsibility entirely on your own. Maybe you’re tired, burned out, stressed from report card writing and because of this, you took it out on her in a careless comment. Here is what I think you missed. I’m asking you to take a step back and think about this human being and what her trajectory in life just might be - her path beyond your class. How will she cope in life with her adversarial attitude and lack of impulse control?

Perhaps she did make every day, every lesson a trying one for you this year. Perhaps you are at the end of your rope, but maybe we can try together. Let’s come together as a community and help this child. There are communities of educators out there that want to help. Here are some of the things we can try:

• ask her what is bothering her, listen to her
• ask for help (ideas, resources) from a colleague (fellow teacher, administrator, etc.)
• conference with her parents
• keep thinking of new things to try with her...and then try them
• take notes
• arrange for board personnel (social worker, psychologist) to come and meet with her

I believe in team teaching, we’re all in this together. But your comment was unsettling because it lacked hope, when in reality, there is always hope. It just takes a mind shift. Because, we as educators are in a position of power and privilege, and our capacity becomes greater when we work together. We can be there for her - that “problem” can be our favourite student - because she is the one who needs us the most.

Don’t give up,
Michelle